Coaching Metaphors: Eggs, Omelets, and Eagles

When the Egg Breaks Makes All the Difference

“You Can’t Make An Omelet Without Breaking A Few Eggs”

Robert Louis Stevenson, et al

There’s an energetic to some coaches, particularly new ones, who believe it is their job to crack the client open, break through their limiting beliefs on the spot, and get them out of their comfort zone immediately.

In new coaches, it is a forgivable error. They may not know enough yet. Those who care, will learn.

In experienced coaches, it’s unacceptable.

If I am your client, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO BREAK ME OUT OF MY SHELL.

Let me say that again to be absolutely clear: If I am your client, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO BREAK ME OUT OF MY SHELL.

What is your job?

We’ll get to that in a minute.

Let’s revisit the quotation that opened this article with two simple equations.

Omelets as a metaphor for coaching

(Egg + Breakthrough) + Heat & Time = Omelet

When it comes to frying eggs, go ahead and break away. Have fun.

What do you notice as you tap that little, brittle ovoid against the edge of a bowl? What comes out?

That runny fluid is not an omelet.

It’s a raw egg that could have been a bird.

And it’s still lacking time with heat to become a meal.

The client that you crack too soon is the same as that egg. Break them open on your timeline because you think that’s the value that you are providing, and you’ll wind up with a runny mess that needs additional work before it becomes its intended outcome.

But…

(Egg + Heat&Time) + Breakthrough = Bird

What happens when the heat is applied first, in a warm, nurturing way, holding the egg like it is in an incubator?

Now that runny mess is held in place safely, and begins to grow into a new form, becoming what its DNA is encoded to be.

The bird can grow, form, and choose to break out of its shell when it is ready.

Instead of a runny mess, the eagle is unleashed, confident, and free.

Differing Opinions

Oh, there will be coaches who will challenge me on this.

Let ‘em.

Fuck ‘em.

They’ll play the “It’s our job to move fast, to get the client beyond their limits” card. They think the client is paying them for the shortest time between two points…and well, if they get them to that destination in fewer hours, then the coach’s hourly rate increases proportionally.

And they’ll be able to produce a few results to prove their opinion. Short term results.

Fuck them and their egotistical bullshit. This attitude is self-focused (I have to get the client moving) rather than client-focused (the client moves at their time as I honor their process).

The Truth of Client Movement

As I learned in my hypnotherapy training at The Institute of Interpersonal Hypnotherapy, the work gets done in rapport.  And when I say “work” here, I mean any of the giving professions: counseling, hypnotherapy, therapy, coaching, and others.

The safer you help the client to feel, the deeper they will go into self-exploration, discovery, and release.

You can’t rush that.

They’ll move when they want to move.

If you push them too fast, they’ll eventually resent you for it, and fall backwards.

Your job is not to put your timetable on your client’s growth. That’s their job and choice.

Your Ultimate Purpose

When you sense your client is in need of a breakthrough, put your hammer away.

Instead, lean into the warmth of empathy and nurture their exploration of new awareness.

This could be scary territory for them…unfamiliar and unknown.

In that space, the last thing they need is someone challenging them by increasing their fear and discomfort (even though the coach may be focusing the conversation on hope and improvement).

Let the client peck through their shell and grow strong. Give them space to incubate, form their new identity, and grow. (Isn’t it funny how that same word, ‘incubate',’ is used for spaces that nurture and grow start-up companies?)

Help your client to emerge into their new lives fully formed and ready to fly.

I would like to than my coach, Dr. Chris Joseph, for the incredible discussion that we had two days ago. It directly lead to the writing of this article.

Yes, coaches need a coach. Particularly those who want to increase their awareness, effectiveness, and impact.

My wings are spread, and my talons are out.

Are you ready to fly with me?