Life Lessons from the NFL: What You Can Learn From J.J. Watt’s Release From The Texans

How you can create opportunities by limiting possibilities

This past weekend, I was teaching a Level 2 Life Coaching certification course for The Certified Life Coach Institute. It’s a deep dive course, providing new perspectives and tools of deeper inquiry for coaches to use with their clients.

One of the concepts that we discuss is Attachment vs Connection.

When someone is in the energy of Attachment, only one solution is possible, there is only one right answer: For example, only one perfect company to work for or only one possible perfect partner (in a world of 7.7 billion people).

It’s an experience of limited possibilities and ideas.

Unlike the energy of Connection, which opens potential and possibilities.

When we shift from Attachment to Connection, we examine the energy of the singular answer to discover what is so important about it.

What is it about that company that attracts you to working for it? How do you see your role there that makes it so magnetic to you? What’s different about it in comparison to what you have now?

In relationships, what is it about that one person (who may be described as a Twin Flame or Soul Mate) that you are so drawn to? What is your energy like when you are together? How do imagine your relationship being, how are you going to feel, when you think about being with them?

This expansion opens us to discovering what’s truly important beyond the limitations of one single symbol of Attached outcome.

We discuss this concept deeply on Day 1.

But Shouldn’t I Be Specific in What I Want?

When setting goals, it’s much more helpful to be specific and clear than vague.

In fact, it’s SMART…and you can be SMART-ER.

“I want to be rich,” says nothing.

“I want $1,000,000 in my savings account,” is specific.

Imagine you are in a restaurant placing an order for your lunch.

Do you say, “Get in the kitchen and bring me a sandwich,” or do you place a specific order like, “I’d like a spicy chicken, no mayo please”? (Because mayonnaise is a crime against humanity.)

Being specific, you know what you’re going to get…or at least that it’s going to be close to the target.

Detachment

However, once your order is placed, you have to let go of ALL attachment to the outcome.

Oh, sure…if my sandwich arrives with mayo, I will be momentarily upset, but I don’t take it personally (one of the Five Agreements, btw).

I may even order a different sandwich, now that the possibility of a new order has been presented.

In the end, I am still receiving a meal.

My belly is happy.

Transitions May Create Attachment to the Old

Yesterday, as I was preparing to teach Day 3, I read this article on J.J. Watt’s consideration of his next team after being released by the Houston Texans.

If you are not aware of who Watt is, he is one of the premier defensive players in the NFL. He has had a stellar career.

Last week, he was no longer employed. Ten years with one team came to an end.

Some new outlets are reporting it as a “mutual parting of ways.”

How would you feel if your dedication to your company was suddenly ended, even if you wanted out of the relationship as well?

Would you be stuck in the shock of being released, wondering, “Why don’t they want me anymore?” “Who can I work for next? I need a job.”

Would you go straight to your top competitor and say, “I want to work for YOU”?

Those scenarios all have a level of Attachment to them – attachment to the old energy of what was, and is no longer, attachment to the need to work, attachment to there being only one option for new employment.

They all narrow focus.

It’s where a lot of us go in these moments, and it is understandable in the short term.

In the long term, it is not empowering.

How to Be Vaguely Specific to Create Connection Your Ideal Outcome

Look closely at this snippet from the article linked above. What do you notice?

Larry Brown Sports

Is Watt saying he’d like to play for the Kansas City Chiefs? No. (Although, in full disclosure, I have an attachment to him playing on their defense. I want to see it happen! #superbowl56 .)

The article reads that he wants to play for a ‘contender.” That’s up to 14 possible teams in the new Wildcard structure that the NFL concocted this year.

And if you say that Wildcards aren’t contenders, the Tampa Bay Patri…er, Bucs, were a wildcard team this year and won SuperBowl 55.

Just by that noun, he has narrowed the field of possible teams from a whole of 32 options to less than half, and allowed for the possibility of 14 options, which includes the Chiefs, the Tampa Bay Patri…er, Bucs, and a dozen others.

Notice the next four items. He’s looking for teams that have a culture that fits his style of play, where he can make an impact immediately, a place where he will be embraced for his skills instead of just filling a role.

These notations are more narrowing of options that actual creates a larger possibility of fulfillment and achievement of his goals.

How to Apply Watt

How can you apply Watt’s focus to your biggest challenge?

If you’re in a narrow, specific place of focus, pull back.

Start seeing the forest instead of one tree.

What’s important about the item you are focusing on? How does it make you feel/how will it make you feel if/when you achieve it?

What’s the REAL goal in securing that outcome?

Who/What else may fulfill it? What’s the common thread/adjective that may string between those options?

When you have clarity, place your order, and let go of all attachment to the outcome.

Proceed from a place of allowing your order to be fulfilled.

You can send it back if it’s not good enough…. Let’s face it, Watt’s not going to take an offer from the Jets or Jaguars.

And you shouldn’t either.